Is Adultery in the Heart a Ground for Divorce?
by Kerry Duke
Jesus said there is only one ground for divorce and remarriage: fornication (Matt. 19:9). But Jesus also said, "Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matt. 5:28). Since adultery is a type of fornication, is the adultery of which Jesus speaks in Matthew 5:28 a scriptural ground for divorce?
Consider a different subject: the death penalty. Murder has always been a crime worthy of death (Gen. 9:6). Yet John said, "Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer" (I John 3:15). Does this mean we should arrest and execute those guilty of hatred?
If hatred, which John says is murder, is not and cannot be a ground for capital punishment, then lusting after a woman, which Jesus says is adultery, is not a ground for divorce.
The fornication of which Jesus spoke in Matthew 19:9 is the outward act and involves actual physical contact. God’s law limits our penalizing others in such matters to the overt act. We cannot read the heart of others unless it is revealed on the outside. The potential for injustice had the situation been otherwise would have been unbearable. Imagine the abuses and suspicions in a society where human beings are given liberty to punish others for wrong thinking! There is enough mistrust and suspicion in the world already.
Still, we should remember that Solomon said, "As he thinketh in his heart, so is he" (Prov. 23:7). Sins of the heart, if not repented of, show themselves in outward acts. Hatred, unless it is halted by repentance, will manifest itself in malicious deeds including murder if opportunity arises. Lust, if not stopped by repentance, will burn stronger and stronger and will express itself outwardly. A married man who views pornography is creating a self-destructive monster within himself because the flame of lust he is fueling will end in actual, physical adultery if he is given the opportunity.
I have been asked this question several times over the years. I feel truly sorry for anyone facing such situations. A wife that flirts or a husband that views pornography commits a terrible sin against both God and spouse that will, if unchecked by repentance, lead to full-blown adultery. But until and unless the literal, physical act of adultery occurs, such a person has not committed fornication.